20 to life.

Although I am still not blogging as much as I would like to, I am thinking of my followers (7 and counting!) everyday...and I'm getting better! If I worked in front of a computer I would definitely post more (shorter) bulletins; however I know you are all getting used to this format, right? Feel free to take an intermission. Just make sure you comment.

I've been in quite a funk for the past week or so. I think it all started when my ipod decided to die on me; I feel as if I can't count on anything anymore. How could my ipod just die on me like that, after all we've been through? The miles we've traveled? The countries I'd brought him too? Ugh, Over it.

Work has been a continuous nightmare and is making me (more) insane. After work today, I went to the gym and decided to finish my workout by running the Ala Wai; which is exactly what I needed, it completely put me in check. I had not been on the Ala Wai for 'the 6pm workout' in a bit; I usually go around 9am when it is dead. I made myself get excited for little things which totally put life in perspective. I witnessed a car pull out of a spot and a girl in another car put her blinker on and slam on her brakes in less than five seconds; she had the biggest grin on her face. Her day was made and I can totally relate - that alone gave me hope. I then saw a robust girl running, I mean pushing herself to run. Home-girl was getting a great workout; I seriously wanted to cheer her on! I took solace in knowing that deep down she is working out because of the Biggest Loser! I honestly feel like a new person after my Ala Wai jaunt. It made me almost as refreshed as The State of the Union.

I watched Obama's Speech tonight and thought it was phenomenal. I am not saying this to suggest I agree with everything he said or that he is doing an amazing job; however I do think that this speech is exactly what our country needed. This was the first time in a while he has shown his set of bullocks! He admitted his faults and charted a great course for our country. His message of America not settling for second place is bi-partisan in itself. It appeals to every single American. It appeals to AMERICA. Wake up Nascar-loving, Palin-voting freaks....he has no malicious intent. (this is me assuming Palin voters know what the words 'intent' and 'malicious' mean)...my B! His message to Congress on bi-partisanship was right on point! His locker room coach tone should resonate with both sides. He reminded them that they are in LEADERSHIP positions! They need to keep their school yard shenanigans out of D.C.

That is if they were listening...did you notice how many people were on their crackberries?!....so gauche - It was the state of the union!!! Oh yeah, does any one know if Supreme Court Justices can't clap? That would makes sense...they just looked so weird.
...Speaking of Shenanigans...

I saw The Gift That Keeps Giving and Her Spawn on Oprah last week. I drafted my thoughts but they paled in comparison to my birth mother, Chelsea Handler's thoughts. Check out, Labor Pain , this is what Ma Dukes had to say about the Palin ladies:

Bristol Palin recently appeared on Oprah, via satellite from Alaska. The good news is that she's in Alaska. The bad news is that she's still talking about her baby.

Bristol told Oprah that she has made a pact not to have sex again until she's married. I didn't understand who she made the pact with. It seems it was with herself, in which case it's not really a pact, it's just a bad idea. See: definition of pact.

Sarah Palin also popped up on the satellite and said she should have talked "more openly" to her daughter about sex, and that her family has now "learned such lessons."

This baby doesn't have a shot. Isn't it enough that his grandma is Sarah Palin, or that his dad posed for Playgirl and hangs out with Kathy Griffin, or that his name is Tripp?

Going on TV repeatedly to talk about how your kid was a mistake is probably not great for the child's self esteem. A better name for this kid would be "20 to life."

...I mean how can I compete with that? Or should I say, why re-invent the wheel? Boop.

I hope you're all having a great 2010! We're almost done with the first month. I have lost 5lbs and am loving my new workout slash eating schedule. Oh yeah, I made a $40 bet with my friend Sean Suckalouskis-Brady (sp?), I need to lose 20lbs (15 more) by May, 1st. Completely doable. EZ is finally back from Iraq where he belongs! Everything, besides work, is going well...another day in paradise! Thanks for reading!

xR

A week has past

To my loyal fans: I know I said I would update more often than a week but please forgive me; this was one of the worst weeks I have had a in a while. I hate going this long myself because I have to much to discuss. Week was bad primarily because of work; I hate being slow - f*ing Canadiens ruining my life on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, Canadiens are some of the nicest people but nice doesn't pay my bills - they don't buy a damn thing!!! They will talk to me all day long. Again, doesn't pay my bills. I really don't care that its -2 degrees Celsius where you came from; honestly could not care less. There are so many other things to care about. Jersey Shore, The Masschusetts Election, and of course Haiti.

Let me take this time to clarify my stance on Haiti. At the beginning of this week I asked people (on facebook) why I should care about Haiti. This, unfortunately, was perceived that I don't care about them....which is not completely true. I just find it interesting that 90% of Americans had never thought about the 4th world nation before and now we are giving them 100s of millions of dollars. I am just waiting for Oprah to buy their whole nation a car!! I think the travesty was well, a travesty. The images are horrific; I just don't think we should give them more money than they had to begin with. This is one of the most corrupt governments in the world, and we are going to hand them a fat check? Just wanted to clear that up so that people don't think I am a wretch of a person....Oh yeah, its kind of weird that it took them four days to regulate all their air traffic to allow food and water yet Anderson Cooper and his hair and make up crew landed just fine. AAA-merica.

I wore black yesterday because Jersey Shore is no longer. I feel like I lost six family members. Can we please talk about the reunion show? Before last night I thought Ronnie skated by. He is the biggest douche bag ever. It is close to ridiculous how awful he is. Cut to: Sammi not putting up with a second of it.

Massachusetts Election Rant to follow. Boop.

xR

Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Starbucks.

This has been an on going rant in my head for the last six months and some of you have been fortunate enough to hear it. It happens daily, around 7:30am at the Starbucks on Kuhio and Nahua; yet I go back for more every morning. I already have a solution and am going to try and point out the positive.

Every single person that works there knows what I order and are all very nice. I am their ideal customer because I have the .67 cents ready for my $2.67 coffee and if I am getting an oatcake that day, I have the .29 cents ready for my $5.29 total for the two. By the time they get to me I have already waited for at least three other customer (groups) to have ordered. Two out of three are absolutely from Japan and require visual place cards with pictures and translations. That is of course, before they get to the register; paying is a whole other debacle.

When it's finally my turn, the barista gives me a look and picks up a large cup. I nod with confirmation. My order is a medium iced coffee in a large cup. I like a lot of milk. Oh yeah, it's 'un-sweetened'... whatever that means. The beginning of my hate starts when I realize, every morning, that I have to put my own skim milk and equal in, apparently that's too much for them to handle. I proceed to the table with the milk and sugars; it is smaller than an elementary school desk. I now remember that those 3-4 parties in front of me at the register are figuring out how to put sugar on their coffee. When it's finally my turn to make my own coffee, I am reminded that, not only is the table ridiculously small, but it's set up so one HAS to reach across the other person using the table. The straws are on one side and the milk is on the other. Makes for an awful pre-caffeinated experience (please take into consideration the Japanese tourist factor...) Not to mention, a Starbucks' large is so damn small...I want a LARGE. Have you heard of Dunkin Donuts?

At Dunkin Donuts, I am able to walk in (or drive up), tell them I want a large french-vanilla (not even close to an option at starbucks) iced coffee with extra skim milk and four equal. It is done in less than 30 seconds. The straw is even in it for me. All this for LESS than Starbucks. And the Large is HUGE yet curved perfectly to fit in a conventional cupholder. My first day back after my trip to Boston, I ordered my Dunks order; however, as it rolled of my tonuge, I knew it wasn't even an option. The barista looked at me and said, "you do your own milk and sugar." A piece of me died.

My solution is that I have a coffee maker now (thanks to Jen and Joe) and am going to go back to making DD coffee at home. This has been my daily rant for two years, thanks for listening. America Runs on Dunkin.

xR

Chex Mix is the New Crack

After a tumultuous week in the depths of Waikiki, I forced myself to hit the gym. On my way back, I decided to pick up some sushi and edamame for dinner - and of course Chex Mix for dessert. After my work out and a trip to the local pantry, I got on my building's elevator to find that I was on there with The Korean Family from the tenth floor. I noticed that this was a 'post-Sam's Club' trip for them. More imporantly, I learned that their charming, toothless, son had decided to press every floor's button. I rode eight floors with a month's worth of groceries and six Koreans; all of whom laughed (in their ear-piercing giggles) every time the doors opened and closed. I don't know exactly how old the little rug rat is but I do know that he is past the cute, giggle at lack of social grace, age. I soon wondered why I hadn't bought a bottle of wine at the pantry.

Everything about lifestyle changes 2010 (14 days) has been relatively easy. Eating well, working out, sleeping better. The only problem I am having is that I can't stop eating Chex Mix. I didn't realize how bad it is until I went to three different ABC stores to get a bag. The ironic thing is that the Korean Family on the elevator had two big Sam's Club bags of it. I spent eight floors plotting how I could get away with one of them. It would be totally justified for having to deal with their toothless son. I will do anything for a fix.

xR

"What would America do without Fox News?" - S. Palin

I love the first few weeks of a new year; everyone is so motivated, eager, hopeful, regimented, and focused. I am the poster child of this. So far 2010 has been a great year. Been to the gym every day (almost), great new TV shows, and work has been pretty bearable. My year didn't really get exciting until yesterday when I learned Sarah Palin is now a Fox “News” contributor. What else could I ask for? And to think, it's only the second week of the year, bring on 2010! The only thing that may top this will be if Snookie becomes a spokesperson for Melanoma.

There has truly never been a better show than Jersey Shore. I could go on and on about how amazing it is, but think it goes without saying…To all you fist bumpin', Ed Hardy Shirt wearin' Guido and Guidettes out there: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! The greatest part of the show is when we get a glimpse into what I call, “The World According to Snickers.” She has such great insight on all the important things in life. "He is like my perfect guy. A total jerk off and a really nice guy; jerk off, nice guy...it's one in the same!" Though The Situation has priceless (lifestyle) advice - "G.T.L.", he is a little out there. Snickers on the other hand, she is legit!

...Speaking of legitimacy....

I had always known that Fox News is the most unreliable news source on the planet but I didn't think they'd be as bold as to say that Sarah Palin is a “Political Contributor.” I thought a news channel was supposed to be unbiased and deliver actual news. How can it be unbiased when the messenger is a well-renowned past/present/future/all of the above candidate in a party?

It's pretty much known that Sarah Palin is one of my favorite people ever; she truly is the gift that keeps giving. Bristol, the Couric interview, any other interview, Levi Johnston, The Bush Doctrine, her resignation, her BOOK, helicopter moose hunting, death panels, a view of Russia, Trip, Trap, Trigg, the whole lot of 'em - I love it all! The scary part is that my cynicism may actually come to fruition. Don’t get me wrong, a Palin nomination in 2012 would be amazing; however, what if she wins?! I know it's unlikely but I never thought Bush had a chance the second time. (The first election being debatable.) I always forget that my life between Hawaii and Boston is in no way a representation of how America votes...Wal-Mart and John Deere love her...and now that Fox "News" is in the mix....oyyy....

From now on, I am going to be careful what I wish for and just allow my sarcasm to be inferred....After I ask these questions,

• Doesn't she have a thing against "Mainstream Media"?
  
• Doesn't Fox pride itself on being #1?
• ....I think Fox is pretty much a household name, some may even call it mainstream.
  
• Doesn't Fox only shoot in NYC and DC?
  
• What is she going to do when she leaves 'Real America'?
  
• ....It's a good thing she got her first passport in '06
• Did Fox and Comedy Central merge?
  

And that's all I have to say about that. Today.

....Back in Hawaii (not sure if it's 'Real America' but that's an issue unto itself)...

Waikiki is filled with pasty-assed Canadians this week; so annoying. They are very nice people but they lead me on and let me finish my whole shpeel before NOT committing. They are so cute in their Keens and sunhats though. I hope to God they have enough sunblock - you should see these people, they are borderline Albino. I am trying to think of any good stories from this past weeks work...Day to Day is the same...lots of annoying tourists and even more annoying Asian tourists. My niche is always with honeymooners (they have so much hope); unfortunately, this is the slowest time of the year for weddings. Now all I can do is wait for wedding season, eh?

OH I ALMOST FORGOT! I got to see Jimmy Buffett at his restaurant on Friday night. It was truly one of the best nights of my life! I learned from a drunk guy on Thursday night that there was a chance he was playing a few songs there on Friday. After a little research, a really nice waitress and manager, we were lucky enough to be the last four people allowed in. What was supposed to have only been a 30 minute bit turned into a near three hours of amazingness. It was was my Twelfth Buffett Show and may have been the best (so cliche) due to the venue and circumstances. The play list was amazing to boot. One could call it a 'once in a lifetime opportunity'...unless he comes back next year :p

In all honesty, 2010 is going to be great. I am looking forward to EZ getting back from Iraq, having visitors, and getting into a good routine...maybe losing 20lbs and maintaining a good savings account?? Hope you are having a great first few weeks...thanks for reading!! I promise to not go a whole week between the next entry. I still only know a few people that are reading (I'm sure there are millions), but please let me know comments, ideas, etc. Boop!

xR