Thursday, February 11, 2010

"I wanna scream at the top of my lungs..."

I just read the John Mayer article in Playboy because so many people have been talking about it; which proves people do actually read the articles! It was alright- he is pretty lame; which I think we all knew. I'd just like to remind him of one thing so I wrote him a letter. It was between this or a Haiku.

Dear John Mayer,
Let me preface by saying that I think you have great talent and I usually end up liking most of your songs; I even bought your first cd. I'm still trying to figure out where you get off giving fatherly advice on raising daughters, but I will let that go...

I just need to say this: You are white. You were born in Fairfield, CT. You are arguably a WASP. Why do you think you can go around using the 'N' word?! I know, as you say, that you have a "hood pass", but just because you did a kick ass song with Jay-Z does not allow you to use that term! You also can NOT say things like this: "My penis is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fucking David Duke penis."

I know you have been shtooping around Hollywood with the likes of Jennifer Aniston and J-Sim but your bullet proof vest and $20 million dollar watch collection do not help your 'Hood Pass'. When you bust down the double doors at your high school reunion, you'll still be starring in a J.Crew ad.

Do NOT use the 'N' word again and for God sake do NOT bring Benetton into this! You're giving every other kid from an affluent suburban East Coast town a bad name. I happen to know a few :p

Just "saying what I need to say"...
With Aloha,
Ryan

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