It's Hammer Time

On Wednesday afternoon, I gave the second half of my double to Tim and was ready to call my week to a close when a couple walked up to me with a deer in head lights look in their eyes. I can't explain the look that these tourists get but its a true reflection of them having NO idea what's going on and needing someone to give them any kind of direction. They were quite pasty and had their rafts in tow. I couldn't wait to make their acquaintance :)

"Aloha Guys, you looking to do any luaus or dinner cruises?"
"We can't we're leaving today."
"What time?"
"We have to be at the airport by 6pm for an 8 o'clock flight."
"Wanna make $100 before you go?" ( I have been doing this over a year and this has NEVER worked.)
"How?"
"Just come to a preview for 60-90 minutes to learn about traveling cheaper."
"Well, we are definitely coming back here so we should check it out and 100 bucks is 100 bucks!" She turns to her man for confirmation. He still has NO idea whats going on.

I have fifteen minutes to get them on the shuttle and make sure they have their IDs and credit card. It's not that easy yet. I introduce myself and learn that they are Shelly and Bo from Tulsa, Oklahoma; wherever that is. Shelly is a relatively robust white women with only two missing teeth; she is a dispatcher for her local cable company. I didn't even bother trying to find out about Bo. Shelly and I proceeded with their invitation...

"When did you guys get here?"
"Yesterday around noon time."
"Oh, are you guys going to another island?"
"Haha no, we only came for the night. We booked the trip on Monday, got on a plane on Tuesday, and here we are! - Back to work tomorrow!"

I can only imagine what my face looked like. They were from Tulsa, OK. First time to Hawaii. 15 hours travel time each way. Giving me their only day in Hawaii...

"What else have you guys done since you've been here?"
"We got to our hotel around 2pm yesterday, then went to "Mardi Gras" downtown last night. We got so 'crunked', he's been hungover all morning..."
(Maybe that explains why he has NO idea whats going on?)
She continued to say, "We got up this morning and got 'his' last name tattooed on our arm." They proceed to lift their sleeves and show me their "Hammer" tattoos across their biceps. (Again, imagine my facial expression)...

We get on the shuttle with four other couples whom were all talking about what they have done already and what they were going to do; some were going to Maui, others had been here for two weeks...ya know, normal Hawaii vacations...

Shelly yells to me in the front, "Ryan, I still have my husband's last name on my credit card and my other last name on my ID is that going to be a problem?"
"You're married to someone other than Bo?!" Ugh, This could ruin everything, its a good thing we got this settled on the shuttle instead of at the window. ;-)
Bo speaks for the first time, "No, he [her husband?] is an asshole and she is with me now."
...most awkward silence for all ten people involved...
I respond, "Just show them your tattoos and it will be fine."
That settled that.

They went into the preview, and BOUGHT the $6,500 package; all for $100 cash gift.

Just thought I'd share how Shelly and Bo spent their 31 hour Hawaiian vacation; went to "Mardi Gras", nursed a hangover, got tattoos, used a raft (or at least carried it around), went to my 60-90 mins. preview*, spent $6400 (minus their $100 gift!), and were mainland-bound before jet lag could even set in. Oh yeah, I think they got a case of macadamia nuts with their purchase. Good thing its carry-on size!

Most importantly: I made $140 and 'made vacation dreams a reality'. I love capitalism.

xR